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Helping Your Child Deal with Pressure

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Albert Einstein

In the present age, where competition has spread its tentacles in every walk of life, it is crucial to teach our kids to be grounded. And comparing them at each step will just not help, rather it will make them very confused and inferior, they will get irritable which will be very hindering their further development. They should be taught to better themselves with each day, not to be better than their counterparts. Sometimes when we are disappointed with our child’s results, we use such sentences like “Look at him/her, he/she is so much better than you” or “Why can’t you be more like him/her?”  As much as we want to refrain from it, we end up doing it. Well, “comparison” is counter-productive for anyone. But it is all the more debasing for children.

We should also consider its side effects. We should understand that every child is different, the way of thinking and working is different/unique for every individual. It is natural to want to know where our children stand amidst others, in this world of ranks and percentages and where everyone is bidding for that coveted seat in a top school or university. But to constantly harangue them about how much better others are will do nothing but lay the foundation for an inferiority complex, which leads to:-

  • Self-doubt
  • Jealousy will take root
  • It will damage the parent-child relationship
  • It will breed negativity
  • They will grow into jittery and nervous adults

Before we see the way to avoid this, we should understand a word, which is actually a phase of the life of any child and that is Adolescence.

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15-year-old Vaibhav was coming home late from school almost every day. He also seemed moody and distracted at home. He grew his hair long, was doing poorly at school, and ate little. His mother found a cigarette in his jacket; she knew there was a problem. ‘Does this seem to be natural behavior of the child, don’t you find anything wrong with Vaibhav’. Definitely, there’s something different. now, what’s that? 

This is characteristic of adolescent age. And what it means is described in the next Para:-   

Adolescence is the age of change. It is a vulnerable time when kids can develop unhealthy habits that grow into problems in their adult life. Behavior issues of adolescence, which are quite common, also crop up during this time, making it impossible for parents to reach out to their teenagers. It also brings with it a lot of problems that parents should understand and solve like:-

  • Physical changes
  • Emotional changes
  • Behavioral changes
  • Substance Use and Abuse
  • Health problems
  • Psychological problems
  • Educational challenges
  • Addiction to cyberspace
  • Aggression and violence

You may have been a teenager yourself. Think about it – your adolescent is at an age that you have already been through. Be empathetic and try to understand what your child is going through. That makes dealing with their problems easier.

How to deal with it?

  • Be there for your teen
  • Find common ground to discuss
  • Listen without judging or giving advice.
  • Expect a child’s failure/rejection.

Some other ways to handle their peer pressure and support them:-

  • Give Unconditional Love and Support
  • Give Unconditional Love and Support
  • Appreciate the Strengths
  • Help Your Child to Cope With His Weakness
  • Do not Compare, Rather Set Benchmarks
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Prashant Pandey

Author: Prashant Pandey

I am a Btech Graduate from mechanical engineering and currently working with LIDO as a tutor. My favorite subject is physics. I like watching animated series and sketching in my leisure time.

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